Of Baby Brain, Nannies and other Miscellany

I locked myself in my pants today. Seriously. I was literally stuck in my khakis.

It was the rubber-band trick that got me. I figured I’d wear these non-maternity khakis since they’re one of the two pairs of pre-pregnancy pants I can still get over my butt, where apparently half of my pregnancy weight is going, and my stomach, where the other half is (more understandably) showing up.

So it’s mid-morning and I make one of my many trips to the bathroom, but instead of unwinding the rubber band from around the button of my pants I somehow keep winding it around instead, and I keep doing it until it’s so tightly wrapped around it that there’s no way I can get it untangled. I actually had to leave the bathroom and cut it off. I blamed it on baby brain, since I obviously just wasn’t thinking during what should have been a fairly mindless task.

In other (better) news, I know I wrote recently about the challenges of researching good daycare. That whole issue was made even more frightening the other day when that news story came out about the 22-year-old local daycare worker who killed an 18 month old when she literally slammed him to the floor because she was frustrated with him. How utterly horrifying is that? I know a girl who actually considered that very same place for her son, who is the same age, and she was incredibly shaken by the story. Any parent would be. I mean, it’s hard enough to send your child into a stranger’s care, but many, many families don’t have a choice but to do just that, and then you hear about something like this.

Of course, even with a nanny you aren’t completely escaping that problem. But when you’re picking a nanny, the search and interview process is much more about the person herself (or himself, I suppose, but let’s be realistic here) than about the place, which is where most of the research for daycare centers focuses. I bring up the nanny thing because the other night out of the blue, Laurie called and said she and Jeff have decided not to send their girls back to his sister for another year after all. They’re going to get a nanny instead, which puts our old idea of nanny sharing back on the table.

I’m excited about it for a lot of reasons. First, because the attention is much more personal, and the kids would be at ours or their house rather than somewhere that could be farther away. Also, they can do personalized outings, there won’t be a room full of kids who will be getting sick all the time, and the kids can all get to know their cousins (well, as much as an infant can “know” people, I suppose).

So the four of us are going to get together next Friday and talk details: how it might work, what kind of person we’d want to find, what hours we’d want them to cover, and of course, how the finances would work. We touched on this a little in our initial conversation. On one hand you could say they should pay 2/3 and we should pay 1/3 because they have two kids and we’ll have one. But one of their girls will be in kindergarten half the day. And babies demand a different level of care. But babies also spend a lot of time sleeping. And so on. The four of us have a very good relationship so I think these discussions will go smoothly, but I hope it doesn’t end up being the kind of thing that we could eventually fight about. Laurie has a very strong personality, but then, so can I. So we’ll see. Nothing’s definite, but I’m excited about it.

In other news, we had a doctors’ appointment this morning. Now that we have our fetal doppler, the excitement of hearing the baby’s heartbeat there isn’t as big of a deal, but it’s always nice to have the chance to ask the doctor my random questions. Unlike last time, when literally the only thing I could think of to ask was whether I could eat sausage, I had a small list this time:

• Were these new and changing moles I was getting normal or should I see a dermatologist? (They were fine; I’ve read in multiple places that moles can get darker or more numerous during pregnancy, but it’s always good to have them checked out).
• Were there any yoga moves I shouldn’t be doing during pregnancy? (My doctor asked if I was doing prenatal yoga classes and I said, no, just the yoga on Wii Fit. She said the poses should be fine unless they put too much pressure on my abdomen or cause me to really bear down. As far as poses that start on my back, she said I’d feel it when I shouldn’t be doing those anymore).
• Should I stop drinking my two caffeine-free Diet Cokes a day and cup or two of decaf coffee because of the artificial sweeteners in the soda and small amounts of caffeine in the coffee? (No and no).
• Was my 10-pound weight gain at 16 weeks and 5 days too much? (For now it’s fine, she said, but she added that it should start to taper off. I wonder how or why that would happen, though, since I can’t see myself starting to be less hungry…)

And that was it. The really big part of the visit came at the very end, when we scheduled our next appointment. Yes, four weeks from today, on Feb. 19, we’ll find out the answer to that eternal question: pink or blue?

The Big Picture

No, I don’t actually have a photo to post of our latest awesome ultrasound – we need to scan it and get it digital, but that would mean actually hooking up the scanner, so we’ll see. But we do have a video and photos, and our little one definitely looks like a real baby now! Of course he/she would, but it’s still so hard to imagine that little life growing inside me, heartbeat and all. I can’t wait until I can feel the baby move – now that will be unreal.

We did get to see some cool stuff, though – but no guess on the sex. That’s fine. I can enjoy the anticipation for another 6 weeks or so. We saw the face, nose, mouth, legs, hands and arms (which did a little moving) and a little nubbin of something that will eventually tell us whether we’re having a boy or girl. The baby bounced around a little, too, which was fun to watch.

The good news is that based on the measurements the tech took from the ultrasound, everything looked to be within normal range. We still have to wait on the results from the blood test, which I expect we’ll get Monday or Tuesday at the latest. Then there’s another screening that checks for some more problems during our next visit … it never stops, does it?

Tonight we’re having dinner with one of my old college roommates and her husband. She’s pregnant with her second and about 8 weeks ahead of me, so it will be fun to compare notes and figure out more of what’s ahead. They found out recently that they’re having another boy, and they’re excited. As for me, while I do admit that at first I was really leaning toward wanting a boy for our first, I’m back to really not caring either way. There are so many advantages and fun things about both. Boys could potentially be less drama, but I feel like I could have more in common with a girl and be able to have a closer relationship. But as Andy says, it’s really more about the personality than the gender, and I probably shouldn’t make such big generalizations.

Some of my family members are already talking about planning a shower, though it wouldn’t be until the third trimester. Jewish people (which we are) traditionally don’t have showers, but times are a’changin’ and if someone wants to throw me on, I’m all for it! Andy’s mom will probably do one for his family and then my sister, Shelly and Laurie will do one for my friends. Fun!

Pound for Pound

So I’m kind of freaking out about my weight gain so far. It all started out so positively. At my last appointment two and a half weeks ago I’d gained 3 pounds, which from everything I’d read was right in line with what was good for the first trimester. At that point I was just a day shy of 11 weeks, so I figured it was pretty close to the end of the first trimester and maybe I’d gain another pound or so in the next couple weeks after that.

Two days ago, earlier in the day before my doctor’s appointment, I’d even responded to a thread on the Babycenter forum from another mom-to-be worried about her early weight gain and reassured her that it sounded fine, and while I was a little worried about the coming weight gain, I was trying to avoid stressing about it by not weighing myself too often. Even at the doctor, I tried to escape without a weigh in, but in the end the nurse got me. On the scale the weight kept sliding to the right, all the way to 138. That meant not only have I gained 7 pounds since my first appointment on Nov. 14, but I’ve gained four pounds in the past two and a half weeks!

I know that later in the pregnancy this rate of a pound a week can be normal, but yowsah, I don’t think it’s supposed to start happening this early! When I bemoaned the situation to my sister today, she offered some helpful rationalizing – was I at my summer weight or my winter weight when they did the first measurement, she asked? And it’s true, I was at my more active “summer” weight – I was 2 or 3 pounds below what I usually am. So I keep telling myself that I’m only up 4 or 5 pounds from my normal weight, which sounds somehow better, but really it’s just splitting hairs because no matter where I started, I’ve gained 7 pounds in 7 weeks!

On the other hand, if I gain a pound a week for the rest of the pregnancy (theoretically, about 26 weeks), then my total would be 33 poounds, which is still in line with the 25 to 35 pounds they advise. And I know that a lot of women do gain more than 35 pounds, especially with their first. But I also know that the more I gain, the more I’ll have to lose, and starving myself on salads and water for 6 months after I have the baby will never be an option for a food lover like me.

So my plan going forward, ideally, is to try not to obsess about the weight gain and still eat when I’m hungry, but try to make sure I’m really still hungry when deciding whether I need to finish that burger and fries or slab of ribs or chunk of lasagna (hey, I eat healthy breakfasts, lunches and daytime snacks!). I’m also going to try to eat even more healthy snacks and keep fewer indulgences like candy and ice cream and chips close at hand.  But the biggest thing is probably getting back on my regular exercise schedule. Keeping my heartbeat below 140 has made the elliptical a bit of a drag, but to be honest, I’d been slacking off from my usual 3-4 times a week a good two months before I found out I was pregnant, and it’s time to get back on track. I’ve been doing more Wii fit and keeping to my regular Saturday walks with my sister, so that’s a start.

Wish me luck … and bring on those carrots!

A Little Nervous, A Little Excited

We’re about to head out to the doctor’s office for our first trimester screen, where they do the blood test and an ultrasound to take some measurements to see if the baby’s development is suggesting at all that there is a chance for Down’s Syndrome and some other scary stuff. I’m a little nervous because it’s a pretty big thing, but on the other hand, I’ve kept my worry in check because I do feel like the chances are somewhat slim that something is wrong and if there is something wrong, there’s nothing I can do about it right now. So we’ll see …

Meanwhile, I am really excited about the ultrasound. We haven’t had one since 7 weeks, when the baby was pretty much a blob and a yolk sac, and now we could see something that looks like a real little baby and maybe even waves at us (that’s what some of the other girls who’ve had the test have said about how the movement looks). There is even a small chance they could make a guess at what the sex is, but I’m not getting my hopes up for that.

Happy new year!

We Got the Beat

So the doctor’s appointment was glorious this morning! It was short and sweet, but we got what we came for: the heartbeat.

I was getting more and more nervous as we drove the short distance to the medical building at the hospital where my doctor’s OB office is and made our way to their suite. We were the first ones there and waited for a few minutes leafing through baby and pregnancy magazines. They had multiple copies of each one, too, all nicely fanned out so that even if there were 7 moms-to-be waiting there, they could all get their dose of Baby Talk.

Anyway, first up was my weight (I asked if I could take my boots off – every ounce counts!), and I was very happy with the gain – 3 pounds, just about right. They say 2-4 pounds is normal for the first trimester, so I can even gain one more in the next week or two and stay on track (not that the world will end if I gain 2 or 3 … I’m just glad all my eating hasn’t already driven me beyond the normal range). Next was blood pressure, which she said was excellent, and then she brought out the Doppler.

At first I’d mistaken it for the kind of thermometer that they stick into your ear and then see the reading on the attached display. But she rubbed a bit of lubricant or some sort of smooth, cool liquid on my lower abdomen and then started moving the sensor part of the machine over me. I was nervous because a) we didn’t hear anything at first and b) the nurse was fairly cavalier as we got started, telling us that it’s common not to hear the heartbeat this early, which made me think I’d have a slim shot at an ultrasound to confirm the heartbeat if we didn’t get it through the Doppler.

But all of a sudden it rang out loud and clear–thwump! thuwmp! thwump! thwump!

It sounded so fast, like the baby was all hopped up on caffeine or had just finished a run (hah – unlikely for any child of mine). But of course it’s normal for a baby at this stage to have such a fast heartbeat. It was 176 beats per minute, up quite a bit from our first appointment, where I think it was 136. Andy and I smiled these huge grins and listened some more, and then I started laughing because I was so happy and amazed, and we couldn’t hear the baby anymore since my stomach was shaking so much.

As we walked back to our cars, Andy told me that he hadn’t quite processed the heartbeat when it first started, but he was watching me and he said I looked so concerned, and then all of a sudden my face just lit up and he knew what the sound was. He said he’ll never forget what my face looked like – I said I wished I’d seen it!

It was hard to stop smiling the rest of the day. I shared the news, calling my mom and sister, texting Shelly and emailing Laurie and my aunt. I was bursting with excitement, wanting to tell everyone at the office my secret! But I was good and kept it in. I’ve been hoping to hold out til after New Year’s, but now I’m thinking maybe I’ll do it next Friday before I take my holiday week off.

So anyway, it was a great start to the weekend … Now I get to just look forward to telling two of my oldest friends on Sunday. Yay!

Feeling Lucky

Not that we’re out of the woods with our own pregnancy, as it seems like there are always so many things that can go wrong (which of course I’m not focusing on, right?), but I feel like I know so many people who have had trouble or are having trouble conceiving that I just feel incredibly lucky right now.

It just seems so unfair that so many couples who want kids so, so badly have to go through so many challenges and setbacks while there are so many unwanted children in the world or even just families that already have a few kids and didn’t mean to get pregnant with another but did. Which is great, and many of them are happy about it, but I know if I were a person who spent months and months or even years and years trying to get pregnant without success, it would be so hard to think about.

Meanwhile, I am SO glad I have my next doctor’s appointment tomorrow. I’ve been doing really well about the whole worrying thing, but for the past few days I’ve been falling of the wagon, so to speak. I’ve been having all sorts of various pains and pressures, and I ended up calling my doctor yesterday after having these recurring sharp pains in my lower left abdomen during the afternoon while I was at work.

Once again, I have to say, they were great when I called. The nurse asked all sorts of questions — Have I been constipated? Do I have a fever? Am I bleeding? Is the pain on one side or across my abdomen? Is the pain constant? — and my answer was pretty much no to all of them (except a bit of the first one – agh!). She said she’d talk to the doctor and when she did, she said the doctor wasn’t concerned and that I should take some Tylenol for the pain if I wanted to (I didn’t) and go home after work and relax with my feet up.

Of course, all this was going on while I was supposed to be doing a phone interview with the beverage director of this restaurant group out in Boulder who was going to tell me all about bourbon. He was so interesting to talk to about it that it made me actually want to try some of these bourbon cocktails they’re making out there, which of course I won’t be able to do for a long, long time. But the point is that I had to get off the phone with him twice during the interview when I saw the doctor’s office calling me back because you know how it is – when they call, you’ve got to answer or else who knows when you’ll hear back! Anyway, I felt kind of rude but whatever. The beverage guy was nice about it.

Anyway, after reading on the baby forums about another girl who was having the same problem and had an ultrasound to determine what was wrong and it was just constipation, now I’m convinced that my pains were due to the same cause, which is a lovely thought, but better than thinking that something’s wrong. Still, I’m really relieved I’m going to the doctor tomorrow either way. It’s been way to long since I’ve had any verification that this baby is still developing as he/she should be. I know they’re going to try to listen for the heartbeat and I’m nervous that they won’t hear one (which I understand from all my baby surfing is very common – the Doppler often can’t pick up the heartbeat until anywhere from 10-16 weeks, it seems). If they don’t hear one I really want them to do any ultrasound so I can see for sure that everything’s OK, which is what Becca said happened to her with both her girls. But some of the girls on the boards seem to go and not hear a heartbeat and then just have to wait. Agh! That would not be pretty.