Feeling Lucky

Not that we’re out of the woods with our own pregnancy, as it seems like there are always so many things that can go wrong (which of course I’m not focusing on, right?), but I feel like I know so many people who have had trouble or are having trouble conceiving that I just feel incredibly lucky right now.

It just seems so unfair that so many couples who want kids so, so badly have to go through so many challenges and setbacks while there are so many unwanted children in the world or even just families that already have a few kids and didn’t mean to get pregnant with another but did. Which is great, and many of them are happy about it, but I know if I were a person who spent months and months or even years and years trying to get pregnant without success, it would be so hard to think about.

Meanwhile, I am SO glad I have my next doctor’s appointment tomorrow. I’ve been doing really well about the whole worrying thing, but for the past few days I’ve been falling of the wagon, so to speak. I’ve been having all sorts of various pains and pressures, and I ended up calling my doctor yesterday after having these recurring sharp pains in my lower left abdomen during the afternoon while I was at work.

Once again, I have to say, they were great when I called. The nurse asked all sorts of questions — Have I been constipated? Do I have a fever? Am I bleeding? Is the pain on one side or across my abdomen? Is the pain constant? — and my answer was pretty much no to all of them (except a bit of the first one – agh!). She said she’d talk to the doctor and when she did, she said the doctor wasn’t concerned and that I should take some Tylenol for the pain if I wanted to (I didn’t) and go home after work and relax with my feet up.

Of course, all this was going on while I was supposed to be doing a phone interview with the beverage director of this restaurant group out in Boulder who was going to tell me all about bourbon. He was so interesting to talk to about it that it made me actually want to try some of these bourbon cocktails they’re making out there, which of course I won’t be able to do for a long, long time. But the point is that I had to get off the phone with him twice during the interview when I saw the doctor’s office calling me back because you know how it is – when they call, you’ve got to answer or else who knows when you’ll hear back! Anyway, I felt kind of rude but whatever. The beverage guy was nice about it.

Anyway, after reading on the baby forums about another girl who was having the same problem and had an ultrasound to determine what was wrong and it was just constipation, now I’m convinced that my pains were due to the same cause, which is a lovely thought, but better than thinking that something’s wrong. Still, I’m really relieved I’m going to the doctor tomorrow either way. It’s been way to long since I’ve had any verification that this baby is still developing as he/she should be. I know they’re going to try to listen for the heartbeat and I’m nervous that they won’t hear one (which I understand from all my baby surfing is very common – the Doppler often can’t pick up the heartbeat until anywhere from 10-16 weeks, it seems). If they don’t hear one I really want them to do any ultrasound so I can see for sure that everything’s OK, which is what Becca said happened to her with both her girls. But some of the girls on the boards seem to go and not hear a heartbeat and then just have to wait. Agh! That would not be pretty.

Start Spreading the News

Well, needless to say, my parents are excited. They totally didn’t pick up on the cheesy way we decided to tell them.

They’d already been over for an hour or so and were totally unsuspecting, and I said, “Well, I don’t know when we’ll be able to have the family over here again. You guys want to have everyone over for Chanukah since you just redid the house and Laurie and Jeff always have Memorial Day because it’s close to Maddie’s birthday and we won’t be free on the fourth of July.”

So they were supposed to say, “What are you going to be doing on the 4th?” But they didn’t! They just kept going on trying to suggest times we could have the family over. So finally I just told them. Mom got a little teary eyed and there were hugs all around, followed by the requisite warnings for them to keep their mouths shut and not even tell their siblings.

So they asked if I’d told my sister Jen and I said I’d wanted to wait until after I told them in case she was upset and wanted to talk to them about it. But my Mom said she thought Jen would just be excited. So I went to meet Jen for a walk and I just came out with it and said, “You’re going to be an aunt.” And Mom was right, she was really happy and excited and didn’t seem to show a trace of sadness. And she might have felt it a bit later and maybe talked about it with Matt a bit, but overall I really think she was mainly just excited. I was so happy that she was happy and so relieved that telling her was over with and I’d been so worried about it. Just goes to show, another case of me wasting time worrying over nothing.

Speaking of worrying over nothing, I got a little freaked out Saturday afternoon. I’d felt a little tender in the, I don’t know what to call it, uterine area? all morning, and then I spent a couple of hours raking leaves and scooping them into bags and carrying the bags to the porch with Andy. A little later we were going to go grab some sandwiches and then head out to see the new James Bond movie, and I was bending down to pick up a couple of grocery bags that had fallen on the floor next to the car and I felt a sharp pain in my abdomen. I got up and sat in the car, and then I felt this rolling kind of crampy feeling for the next couple of minutes.

So I just wanted to go inside and lay down, so Andy and Shelly went to get the sandwiches and I stayed home. The cramps went away pretty quickly but I had that kind of soreness the rest of the day and night. It felt tight and like I said, sore, and I could feel it when I walked and everything. I was glad when I woke up yesterday and felt back to normal. But on the bright side, I kept my worry in check! I didn’t call the doctor or totally freak out because I know they say some pain and cramping can be normal as long as there’s no spotting or bleeding. It just caught me off guard because of that initial sharp pain.

Anyway, Andy made me promise to take it easy yesterday, so after we made the yummy homemade whole-wheat waffles (from Eating for Pregnancy) and my tasty frittata (with Italian sausage, shiitake mushrooms, sun-dried tomatoes, potatoes and onions) for brunch with the p’s, I didn’t do my usual Sunday afternoon of grocery shopping and cooking. Instead, Andy cooked pizzas for the three of us (with whole wheat dough from scratch!) and made a nice big salad to go with it. It’s nice to be spoiled sometimes!